Our Hallowe'en Visit With Darth Vader and His Date

About ten o'clock last night we were about to retire when another knock came at the door. This surprised us, because the Trick or Treaters had stopped coming about 90 minutes earlier. I jogged to the door, picked up our absurdly large bowl of what one kid had exultantly termed "GOOD candy!" and opened the door. The nemesis of the Republic stood before me, light saber in hand. Without hesitation, he pushed his way through the door. I placed my right foot on his midsection, hoping that my ample girth would suffice to keep me in place when I started pushing him back.

Then I saw HER. I was stunned. I turned from the door, dropping all pretense of repelling boarders. "Sheryl! You've got to come and see! She looks like Cleopatra!" Actually, Sheena and some kind of Aztec queen also sprang to mind. I quickly ran for the camera and began feverishly recording the moment before it could disapparate like a misbehaving Hogwarts student. Darth complained of the tremendous heat in his uniform, but I'll wager the heat when he lost his legs up to the knee had been a bit worse, eh?

We had only minutes. They were going out to a dance contest at the local gay bar. They prefer to go there for reasons which have not yet become clear to me. Of course, Cleopatra recently took first place there in another contest. Darth explained that he was hoping to equal her feat.

Beauty like hers doesn't just stroll through your door every evening at ten, you know. I did the best I could with the camera, but the drool kept smearing the lens. Finally, Sheryl took over and I ran for the 1860 saber which Jed Lewis had given me a long time ago and which I only succeeded in getting properly sharpened this past summer. Darth showed little concern for whatever talents I had picked up in that fencing class 40 years ago at Ricks. He seemed to know instinctively that he was in little real danger.

Or had some informer told him that all my training was with the French foil and that my wrist is barely adequate to pick up, let alone actually wield, a nineteenth century-style cavalry saber? I'm sure that the only thing which saved me was the hour. They must needs fly to the tavern while I locked the door securely in their wake. I would opine it a mere dream or phantasm, but whence these photos?

Darth Vader and his mysterious and queenly consort.

Darth tries to look menacing --- and succeeds marvelously.

The grimace of an exposed super-villain.

Darth begins to warm to our task of recording his visit.

Darth momentarily forgets which show he's on.

The goddess dons her black leather jacket in preparation for departure. Did you even know that goddesses wear black leather?

We are graced with a slight smile.

The buckets are for cleaning the aquarium, not for collecting blood.

Mortal combat in the living room of a humble Chubbuck home.